The Characters
The Tight-Fisted and Bulbous Pantalone

Fat extremely wealthy greedy stingy old coot. Only cares about money, and will do anything to make more. Thinks that he is God's gift to God.

Jason Kendall
The Poor Little Boy Next Door Pedrolino

Servant to Pantalone. He is always getting into trouble, and likes to play tricks on people, especially Pantalone. Pedrolino may be played by a woman. If played by a woman, there must be no mistaking that he is a she, except of course by all the characters on stage, who would call her "him" and think nothing of it at all.

Donna Stearns
The Misguided Maidservant Franceschina

Isabella's maid. She loves Pedrolino. Maidenly and down-to-earth, she always tries to resolve problems for Isabella, and is the voice of reason in a crazy world. Dresses only in a Frederick's French Maid's lingerie costume.

Sabrina Gwyne Howells
The Painfully Self-Absorbed Flavio

Isabella's brother and Oratio's friend. He is a rather arrogant lover with a soap-opera chin who is deeply infatuated with himself and Flaminia. He has been known to hang around gyms in Chelsea. A beefcake's beefcake. Very beefy.

Michael J. Muldoon
The Excessively Erudite Doctor

An academic's academic. He is a monstrous blowhard who knows far too much information for his own good. He is given to long-winded speeches about exotic things and places. He will do anything to get money out of Pantalone, who perpetually owes the Doctor for something or other.

Matthew R. Staley
The Cowardly and Insensitive Captain Spavento

A cowardly braggart. At one time he was a soldier, bringing up the rear, possibly carrying the pots and pans, or stealing the drum away from the boy in the lead. Cowardly through and through, houseflies can bring him into a conniption. Somewhere he got it into his head that he is attractive to the ladies.

Lon Blais
The Borscht-Drinking Arlecchino

A complete troublemaker and hellion, he is constantly hungry and thirsty. Though eternally lithe and thin, he is given to drink excessively. However, it is quite impossible for him to get drunk, unless he finishes off a lake. Nevertheless, he can do a back handspring on a dime and is the acrobat of the bunch.

Eric Walton
The Town Nymphomaniac Flaminia

Pantalone's daughter and a complete nymphomaniac. Always dresses nastily. Every time she appears, she loses more of her mind and her attire. (Never naked, but this is a late-night show in the Village....)

Yafit Hallely
The Gorgeous Isabella

A pure-hearted lover smitten with Oratio. She is a wondrous beauty and an independent woman. Each entrance, she is dressed in something gorgeous and beautiful: never trashy or slutty, but always like she stepped right off the runway or the red carpet.

Erin Caldwell
The Hopelessly Lovelorn Oratio

Pantalone's son and the betrothed of Isabella. Oratio is a good-hearted young man in love who cannot do anything about it. Romantic to the core, he relies on his friends to help him through life. Somehow knows about Quantum Physics....

Hezekiah James Toft
The Enigmatic Sorceress and Confectioner Mrs. McGillicuddy

The Good Witch of Vienna. Watches out for Isabella and Oratio. Always speaking in rhyme, she lovingly creates magical concoctions that somehow inevitably get out of her control. Can be exquisitely played in drag.

Lela Frechette